Tagged: ferber

Sleep Training Methods: Help your Baby Sleep through the Night

ImageSleep training is cruel. But it seems to be working. On day 2 of the most horrible process we have been through with our son Noah, he fell asleep after 5 minutes of crying, a long shot from the 45 minutes it took the day before. After the storm, comes the calm. After I cried with him outside his door, on day 2 I felt better, reassured that maybe, just maybe, we were helping our baby sleep through the night. Or better yet, we were coming out of his way to let him do his stuff. That day I saw him as such a big man, a big 4 months old mini-man.

After these four months I have learned one thing. There is no right or wrong when it comes to our parenting choices. We are the best parents we can be. But, and there is a big but, we always strive to find reassurance that we are not messing our kids’ lives. So please find below a quick review of the studies out there about sleep training methods.

On the attachment parenting side, pediatrician and author of The Baby Book, Dr. Sears suggested that prolonged crying for weeks could cause emotional trauma and physiological changes in the brain. He did not, however, related these crying spells with sleep training but crying jags in general.

Another voice of the attachment parenting team, Dr. Middlemiss’ study, published in Early Human Development found that while the “cry it out” method works –babies do cry less with time when learning to fall asleep- their physiological stress levels remained very high, measured by a saliva test kit that studied stress markers such as cortisol levels. Dr. Middlemiss said that if infants’ levels of cortisol remained high for continued periods of time, it could result in attention disorders, hyperactivity, anti-social behavior and possibly even obesity. She also noted that babies might not cry even when they are distressed, making difficult the much-needed communication between parent and child.

Feeling bad? Wait. A new study in Pediatrics says that there does not appear to be harm over the long term with these sleep training methods. The study looked at controlled comforting (parent responds to their child cries at intervals) and camping out (parent stays at their child’s room as he learns to sleep. Moving the chair farther away until he’s out of the room and baby falls asleep alone). This study concluded that sleep training is safe and effective since babies do learn to go to sleep easier and stay asleep for longer periods of time.

Thankfully, researchers form the American Academy of Sleep Medicine concluded a major review of the top five sleeping training methods to help your baby sleep through the night. They say that there’s no single “best” method. All of them work, we just have to follow one rule: consistency.  Moreover, the study noted that children who went through sleep training were more secure, predictable, fussed and cried less, than those who were not trained.

“We’re fairly certain that sleep training doesn’t have any long-term negative effects,” Mindell says. “If you love your child and are a responsive parent and then let your child cry three nights in a row to teach her how to sleep, that’s fine.”

In short, no expert can tell you what is right or wrong. All babies are different. Choosing a sleep training method is clearly a personal choice. So what’s your take? What would you do you help your baby sleep through the night?

Day One of Ferberizing our child


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Quick summary: Noah had been sleeping from 11pm to 4-5am for the past month, with the exception of two days before Day One when he began skipping the 4-5am feeding. That’s how we realized he was ready to pull an all-nighter.

The problem is not the night sleep. He falls asleep during feeding and doesn’t wake up when we put him in his crib. He can’t fall asleep on his own during naptime. He cries desperately before each nap because he is too tired to fall asleep on his own. I know, some people say we should leave it at that, if he sleeps so well at night, then why force it? As I wrote in my previous post, I’m positive that learning to self-soothe is a skill that will help him in the long run. Better sooner than later we say.

If for the past two days Noah woke up at 8:00 am, on the first day of his ferberization he decided to wake up again at 5:40am. At first, in a zombie-like manner, I did as I had been doing for the past months: I went into his room, took him out of his crib and rocked him to sleep. When I realized my lethargic self had betrayed me, I put him down in his crib drowsy but awake. When I left the room, at 6:15am, he began to cry. We each went in at 5min, 7min and 10min intervals until we felt that maybe it was because he was hungry. He had been asking to eat at 8am, but maybe, we thought, that day he was hungry before. So at 7:00am we gave in. Forty-five minutes of suffering is enough.

That’s the thing about sleep training methods: we are so confused and so affected by our baby’s cry that we doubt everything. Are we doing it the right way? Are we a failure for feeding him? Is it hunger? Is he super tired? Does he hate us for doing this?

Have you felt this while sleep training your child?